Father Time, Thou Art So Cruel?

The other night I was out enjoying the beautiful weather and a cold beer with Scott and Shannon. Summer is my favorite month and to me there is nothing better than a relaxed summer night and sipping a cold beer with some compadres. A couple of foreign girls were doing the same and struck up a conversation with us as they were relatively new in town. See, that is just what you do in China. You see a foreigner and usually the first question is, “Hey, where are you from?” followed directly by “What brings you here?” and then everyone answers in unison “Teaching English.” They were teaching at a wealthy boarding school 45 minutes north of Ningbo however, they were not even getting paid and instead were doing some volunteer program through their church but, more on that later. Being that they were volunteers they had a lot of strict rules and had actually snuck down to the “city” for some R&R. Their names were Jazz and Utah. Very cool names I thought so I still remember them which is quite rare for me. Actually, Utah was not here real name. It was only what I had dubbed here for the evening as it was where she was from. I don’t remember her real name as I thought Utah was super cool for a girls name and thus opted to call here that the whole time. Jazz was ironically NOT from Utah and instead from Canada. But I digress. Lately I have been doing a lot of Rocky Balboa impersonations (especially but not limited to when drinking) as I just saw Rocky Balboa last week. So, I’m doing my Rocky and us guys are all laughing but the girls look amused yet confused. So I say:

Me: You know from Rocky…
Utah/Jazz: What?
Me: The movie Rocky… from the 80’s?
Utah/Jazz: …
Me: You know, Sylvester Stallone…?
Utah/Jazz: Oh, is he the guy that… no, wait. Who?

Holly Friggin’ A. I was completely dumbfounded. Turns out these chicks were only 19 years old. I was so depressed! How do you not know Rocky? How do you not know Sylvester Stallone!? It’s like I was hurt inside. I decided to bottle up my hurt and not jump to the conclusion that I was just getting old and instead decided to deduce that the reason they know nothing is not only because they 19 but also, as it turns out, Mormons! I knew there was something wrong with those girls. Humph!